Fear & procrastination

I have been quietly working on a picture book. It has been patiently waiting in the wings while I prioritized paid work and family; or decided that I wasn't 'ready' and needed to hone my skills more; or claimed I just don't have time... it's Fear, in its multitude of disguises, creating fictional road blocks and excuses.

When I pulled out my manuscript in early May, I realized it has been a work in progress for TWO years! I needed to have a good hard look at myself: Am I pretending to be a storyteller?

Guess what? Within a week, I polished the manuscript, storyboarded, sketched all the illustrations including cover and end pages, compiled book dummies, and submitted it for review. Why was I procrastinating?

Fear of rejection? Fear of failure? Well, congratulations! I have successfully self-sabotaged for two years.

What does it mean to consciously choose love?

Let's talk about love. Do you remember that first crush? That crush that was probably a little too wild to be good for you? Did you listen to the naysayers telling you to stay away? Of course not! You're committed to the crazy ride no matter the circumstances!

I think I can tap into that reckless teen buried under the responsible, safe, adult. I'm going to chase this dream unabashedly, because, come on... it's a much more interesting path, even with the heartaches and challenges... maybe because of them!

This is my picture book about friendship and loss, titled 'Left'. I don't know if it will be published, but it is complete, and I am proud of it.

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Cindy WM Chong

Artist & Illustrator | SCBWI member


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